Dai-chan (punkybunny) wrote in proudtobeugly,

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* you know it's hard, you know i'm trying to understand to do what's right.

I've been a memeber of this community for a while, but I don't think I'd ever posted before so I'm posting now. :*:smiles:*:

I'm not perfect, I know I'm flawed. I'm a bit "boyish." I wear ripped up clothes clother, rarely brush my hair (in fact it's usally about 3 inches shorter than it should be just because of the tangles..yeah I know that's gross..), and if you ever catch me wearing make up it's either becuase I'm in a play or my mother is trying to make me "girly." Oh, and as far as zits go..dah, I've got my share..I really don't care though, never try to cover them up or anything. Sometimes I think I'm too skinny, sometimes I think I should lose weight. I don't try to be "pretty", I don't have the time. Even, if I did have the time, I don't know if I would try...I'm a little afraid that I'd still be unattractive even if I tried not to be...I'm often told that I am pretty or cute or something of that sort (well by friends and family..i don't know how much their biased opinions count :*:smiles:*:). I don't see it though. :*:shrug:*: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, ne? This is what I do look like, this is what I wished I looked like. Dah, I need to be proud of myself and be fine with the way I look..i'm working on it...

also, I really try not to judge others based on physical appearence because that's not how I wish to be judged. But, I'm still dealing with internalized beauty-phobia (:*:grins:*: yeah I know that's not a real word..). I have this thing where I asume "pretty" girls are bitches. :*:shrugs:*: I know I shouldn't be so shallow...I'm trying...
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